bironic

Continued from here.

( ~52 movies )

( ~14 TV seasons/shows )

Hm. A lackluster second half of the year movie-wise except for that burst of theater-going in October/November and the few I watched this week. Here's to a better future.

Continued from here. The same disclaimer applies.

(  Even the Rain (Tambien la Lluvia) (2010)  )

(  Deadpool 2 (2018)  )

(  Cave of Forgotten Dreams (2010)  )

(  A Ghost Story (2017)  )

(  Embrace of the Serpent (El abrazo de la serpiente) (2015)  )

(  Juanita (2019)  )

(  Rhymes for Young Ghouls (2013)  )

(  Pottersville (2017)  )

(  Christopher Robin (2018)  )

(  The Blob (1958)  )

As a cis het, I experience Pride Month as a more concentrated than usual opportunity to celebrate friends*; identification feels like appropriation. Still, I've enjoyed wearing my stealth gray-ace necklace, courtesy of deelaundry, more than usual in June.

*and family and colleagues and strangers, and to help lobby for compassionate treatment of queer people globally and listen and otherwise be an ally

One of these years I'll wrestle out the post that's been tumbling in the back of my head about the ways the "gray asexuality" label does and doesn't fit. It's hard to define something by a partial and possibly temporary, even if longstanding, absence.

*

Either way, the kink remains! Heh.

1) 4,100 words and counting on two nonconathon fills.

2) I finally watched Professor Marston and the Wonder Women and came out of it with a general response of ♥. If I'd known before festivids that it focused so much on ( spoiler for the first half of the movie ) rather than being a straightforward biopic about a comics creator and the women who inspired him, I would have watched it sooner! Or maybe I did know at some point and then forgot, oops.

( Details )

How many of you posted about the movie when it came out? Link me?

*

I'd been thinking again about student/teacher and other relationships involving authority figures in fic, which is what led to the above. What I continue to love all these years later about stories like Sickness and Shame by recrudescence (doctor/patient), Bend It by Nellie (coach/athlete) and Maybe I'm Already Crazy by foxxcub (teacher/student)—all Inception, Arthur/Eames, FYI right at the cusp of underage in the U.S.—are that they thread the needle between coming too close to reality and going too far into fantasy.

By which I mean, if you swing too far in the realism direction, then either the adult/authority figure comes off as creepy or outright abusive, like what happens in the vast majority of cases IRL—I'm talking about fic involving consensual relationships in this case; when you're reading or writing noncon, then of course that kind of characterization tends to be the goal—or else the characters talk or think around the ethical issues and don't act on their feelings. (Are there any fics in that second category? Hm. I've struggled with it when writing before. 'Have sex already!' 'But we want to be in character and/or sympathetic, so how do we cross this line?' ETA: Oh, right, that's how things shook out in an old Willow/Giles WIP.)

Whereas if you swing too far in the fantasy direction, then as soon as the characters realize the attraction is mutual, they slide down the magical erotica chute into passionate sexytimes, no bumps along the way. And that's not satisfying for me. I want the characters to confront the issues—the power imbalance, the trickiness of consent, the potential consequences—before finding a way forward together. As you may recall, the glossing over of this stage is what prevented me from fully adoring many of alethia's Michael Burnham/Christopher Pike fics (captain/crew member, Star Trek: Discovery), which are otherwise so close to perfect. IIRC, Dating Wrong and A Light Touch handle it pretty well.

What drove me up the wall about a long fic someone recced the last time I asked around for student/teacher stories, More Than Just a Pair of Sinking Ships by Robespierre (Merlin/Arthur), is that, while student!Merlin is depicted as crushing just as hard as teacher!Arthur, Arthur, the POV character, does soon come across as a creep and loses sight of what is appropriate, adult behavior. If only it hadn't taken those wrong turns (IMO), the pining and catharsis could have been gorgeous.

Forever chasing more of the good ones.

WATCHING

So much stuff while alpheratz visited.

The ten 11 episodes that've aired so far of the Taiwanese m/m dramedy HIStory3 – Trapped, one of her current fandoms. It's like if someone wrote an earnest but naïve AU where the original high school-aged characters become either police detectives or gangsters and half of them are in clueless love with the other half, only that's the canon. I liked the clam who started needing to fight to keep the amusement from his expression at the antics and/or obliviousness of his crush, whose ears recall Colin Morgan's as Merlin.

Our first episodes of Hot Ones, the YouTube show where celebrities eat a series of increasingly spicy wings between interview questions. We started with Jeff Goldblum, because Jeff Goldblum, and also because the emcee at a recent Jeff Goldblum-themed burlesque modeled her between-act hot wings schtick on his episode. Warning for "daddy" language at the YouTube link, which also featured prominently in the burlesque commentary. :( Our favorite, however, was Gordon Ramsay, hands down. After skipping ahead to when the spice started kicking in, we hurt ourselves laughing. I see we still have contestants like Michael B. Jordan, Neil DeGrasse Tyson, Key & Peele and Charlize Theron to look forward to.

The Kenyan f/f movie Rafiki. Enjoyed. Much lingering on beautiful faces, much detail of a few families' lives on the outskirts of Nairobi. Tricky for those seeking happy LGBT+ media, although where the ending falls on the spectrum of happiness or unhappiness depends on your perspective, and we are, after all, talking about a film that was largely banned in its originating country, where you can be imprisoned for 10+ years for having same-sex relations, according to *cough* the movie's Wikipedia page. Hope to hear from hermionesviolin or others who went to a special screening last night with guest commentary.

The sweet and uplifting Turkish documentary Kedi. If I'd known the movie was not simply about following street cats around Istanbul but also about the people who care for them and those people's views on life, I'd have watched it sooner. But the delay paid off in that I was able to experience it with someone who loves cats. A heartening portrait of community building and doing right by others, including animals.

Half of the Netflix show Special. We appreciated the importance of what it's doing, but the secondhand embarrassment, prominence of plots involving lying and coercion, self-conscious overuse of slang, and focus on the physical aspects of relationships proved too much.

And more, including this week's Game of Thrones episode, which I enjoyed, and which served as payback for Trapped since alpheratz got invested despite not having seen any of the show before. Anything further on GoT requires its own post.

ETA: and here it is; warning for S8 spoilers.

Thing I did not catch: The DS9 documentary What We Left Behind. I can't believe its only theatrical showing nationwide was last night! I've been enjoying the sprinkle of reactions and screencaps on Twitter but would very much like to see the whole thing when it's released on DVD or whatnot.

VIDDING

Nothing at the moment, although I'd like to make the sports movie vid in time for the FanWorksCon dance party deadline next month. (I can't seem to bring myself to call the party by its proper name of Sparkle Motion. As if its silliness detracts from the work that goes into the submissions. My issue to deal with.)

I don't think I've described the roadblock? Aside from time and desire, that is. Just that I'm trying an editing experiment that makes use of a small source list when those sources are an idiosyncratic drop in the ocean of sports movies, and I don't know how to explain-slash-justify the selection. Part of my brain knows it shouldn't matter, but another part wants a defense ready when someone complains. This was supposed to be a way to loosen up...

Spotify subscription continues to do its job of building playlists and sparking new vid song ideas. Unfortunately, those ideas refuse to align with current projects or sources I'd ever planned to vid. :) The second one so far is a moody female-vocalist folk song I think would be great for Jon Snow or the whole Stark family on Game of Thrones, but I do not want to make it myself. Too bad a handful of vidding auctions closed earlier this spring, or I could've pitched it to killabeez or sisabet or someone.

READING

Procrastination: Why You Do It, What to Do About It Now by Jane Burka & Lenora Yuen, a self-help book about various roots of procrastination, what it does for different people, and how readers might address their particular issues. Early pages seemed simplistic until the authors would come at you with stuff like 'when you consider a single piece of work as representing your entire capability, and you equate your capability with your worth as a person, then of course delaying completion of the project helps you put off confronting the fear that you're unlovable.' Now to find out whether the second half—the advice portion—has useful ideas that translate into effective behaviors. And yes, the running joke with friends and colleagues has been, "Have you read it yet?"

The book-length poem IRL by Tommy Pico, mostly because I wanted the foundation before reading Nature Poem, the second of four books so far in the series. It's strange reading on page what seems more like performance poetry; it's too bad our library doesn't have an audiobook version. I liked the excerpt from Nature Poem about the white ladies in the Museum of Natural History that appeared in New Poets of Native Nations, and Pico's audio version, recorded, ironically, for a museum exhibit, which Heid Erdrich played for us at the New Poets book event last fall, made the experience all the better.

Recently finished:

- Storm of Locusts by Rebecca Roanhorse
- The True Queen by Zen Cho
- The Raven Tower by Ann Leckie

They were all fine. If I were feeling better in the head, I'd probably label them "good."

Going to see Karen Russell (Swamplandia!, Vampires in the Lemon Grove) tomorrow with disgruntled_owl.

Catchin' up, catchin' up. Continued from here. See also the second half of this post for a sort of meta-analysis of reviews like these.

( Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018) )

( Ocean's 8 (2018) )

( Dreamkeeper (2003) )

( Before Tomorrow (Le jour avant le lendemain) (2008) )

( Chiefs (2002) )

( Winter in the Blood (2013) )

( The Sun at Midnight (2016) )

( Rain in the Mountains (2007) )

Having reviewed 0 of the 44 movies I've watched so far this year, last night I thought, let's try a bunch of two-line reviews, or set an egg timer for each and whip through them that way.

An hour later, I had three one-paragraph blurbs.

Oh, well. Here's a start:

Road to Paloma (2014)

Sort-of road trip movie directed, co-written and co-produced by and starring Jason Momoa. Some parts tedious, others fine. Some nice shots. Terrible sound mixing. Half the plots are ( trigger warning )-related, which may or may not be your cup of tea. A couple of questionable casting decisions, ethnicity-wise, e.g. Sarah Shahi as Mojave.* Mostly, I continue to be glad Momoa is in a position to make his own movies.

*Momoa (native Hawaiian) and Wes Studi (Cherokee) make up the rest of the family, and although they're not Mojave either, IMO at this stage of my cultural education, it's so typical for Native American, Pacific Islander and First Nations actors to play characters from any tribe on or near the continent that it's harder to complain until we support films and filmmakers enough that more directors cast people predominantly from the cultures being featured, if that is the goal.

Dance Me Outside (1994)

A bad thing happens on the Kidabanesee Reserve in Ontario, and we watch and wait to find out whether the teenage protagonists will ruin their chances of getting into auto mechanic school as they decide how to respond to it. Enjoyable movie with a range of emotions. Featuring baby Adam Beach and spunky supporting female characters, including Jennifer Podemski, who went on to star in the Canadian TV show "The Rez," which I hadn't known about before. I like discovering that Michael Greyeyes has a history of being cast as the heartthrob.

Based on a story by the same W.P. Kinsella who wrote the book that inspired Field of Dreams.

Drunktown's Finest (2014) ♥

Three adolescents' lives—a guy with one last chance before he loses his shot at enlisting in the military, a trans girl trying to find love and hoping to make it onto the local swimsuit calendar, and a college-bound orphan raised by white people who's seeking her birth family—intersect in Gallup, New Mexico, on the Navajo reservation. Directed by Sydney Freeland, a Navajo trans woman who grew up in Gallup. I don't know a lot of movies that star trans Native actors as trans Native characters, in this case Carmen Moore as Felixia, so that was neat. Tension was an important part of the experience, so I'll put this quick note behind a cut: ( spoiler ). Kiowa Gordon, who I'm learning plays handsome miscreants more often than handsome woobies, had a supporting role.

Oh, no, the internet says that Moore died in August?! That sucks.

Bee Nation (2017) ♥

Adorable, well-structured and moving documentary about kids competing in Saskatchewan's first provincial First Nations spelling bee. Just really nice family support, nice pacing, nice portraits of people trying and succeeding and failing. Never have I identified so hard with someone in a documentary as with this young, serious, perfectionist boy crying while trying to practice at home. "Stop being so hard on yourself," his mother says with great tenderness. "You're eight years old. This is supposed to be fun." (His name is William Kaysaywaysemat III and I want to hug him.)

Te Ata (2016)

Formulaic biopic, but formulas persist because they work, as this one pretty much does, even though you can tell it's been simplified and de-thorned, perhaps in part because it was co-produced by the community whose folk hero Te Ata is/was, the Chickasaw Nation. With Q'orianka Kilcher as performer and cultural ambassador Te Ata/Mary Thompson Fischer, Gil Birmingham as her father, Graham Greene as the tribal governor, and Mackenzie Astin as a nerd love interest whose bleach job and makeup, intended to age him up, proved unexpectedly sexy.

Horror of Dracula (1958)

disgruntled_owl has been writing in this fandom and I wanted to deepen my appreciation of what she's doing. She never needs to be asked twice to (re)watch Peter Cushing movies, especially those that co-star Christopher Lee, so she showed me this one evening. It was a good time, with several 'shippable combinations as well as a random comedic figure in the morgue. Michael Gough, who plays Arthur, looks SO FAMILIAR but I can't tell why even after reading his IMDB page, only that my enjoyment of his face must be related to the reasons I enjoy Noah Taylor's, Bill Irwin's and Otto Sander's.

Beezus and Ramona (2010)

Based on the Beverly Cleary book. Wholesome family feelings. Lots of wide blue eyes and cropped brown hair in the tradition of Mara Wilson. I admit: it made me cry. In an indication of my connection to Today's Youth, I did not realize that was Selena Gomez as Beezus until the credits rolled.

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (2009) ♥

Huh—people said this was good, and they were right! Totally kooky humor that startled barks of laughter out of me in the same way the Batman Lego movie did. Lots of callbacks. Nice feminist B-plot with a "weather girl" who knows her stuff but has been socialized to play dumb and hide her passions.

ETA: See also the second half of this post, a sort of meta-analysis of reviews like these.

ETA 2: Continued here.

Continued from here.

( 54 movies )

( 16 TV seasons or specials )

That's still low for me on movies, a lingering result of all the skimming for "The Greatest" plus my slide over to watching TV shows with Zahn McClarnon in them.

As always, happy to talk about any of these.

From worst to best.

( Hostiles (2017) )

( Mohawk (2017) )

( Wind River (2017) )

Thank you to Métis in Space for teaching me to more effectively identify and think through several tropes discussed above. Still so much more to learn.

Feeling

I need a vacation. I just want to sit in a room that is not mine for a few days and work on stories and let my mind wander without having to yank it back to take care of responsibilities. That’s what last month’s trip to my mom’s hotel in Worcester was supposed to provide, except I ended up needing to work. Now I keep going to the office and not really doing anything.

The silly part is that the only thing stopping me from taking time off is planning it.

Doing

My favorite college friend, R., is in town for a few days. We spent a good chunk of the weekend together. Due to a couple of near misses, we hadn’t met since 2015, and not in Boston since the year before that. I was all nerves leading up to dinner on Saturday, in part because he has "succeeded" more than me on multiple fronts and I do not have great self-esteem these days, in part because I’ve always had half a crush on him and want to make sure he still likes me too, and in part because it was a certain time of the month when anxiety peaks no matter what’s going on—but, to my great relief, I was reminded within the first few minutes that there’s a reason we became friends 17 years ago (!) and remain so now. He makes conversation easy, albeit with a hint of the know-it-all one-upmanship that tinges a lot of the relationships I had at school and still have with some coworkers. I was reminded once again that his life isn’t perfect either, and it matters a lot to me that he is comfortable talking about the challenges and disappointments we are dealing with as well as sharing joy in the things that are going well.

In any case, we ate interesting Italian/Peruvian fusion, enjoyed a breezy boat ride out to the Boston Harbor Islands, had a picnic, walked around some of the new developments on the waterfront despite being two very pale people in the summer sun, and talked a lot. <3

Later this week there will be dinner with a former coworker and a Star Trek-themed burlesque show with friends.

Writing

Zahn McClarnon characters continue to rev my creative engines.

750 words and counting of Hanzee/Constance (Fargo TV show, season two)
+ 2,240 Mathias/OFC (Longmire)
+ 1,940 Mike/Rachel and Kopus/Rachel (The Red Road)
+ 670 Zachariah/Pia/Lemuel (Midnight, Texas)
= 5,600 words since the beginning of July. \o/

Nothing is finished yet, and based on past experience, I’m worried about losing momentum and leaving everything incomplete. Even so, as maralenenok said last week, words is words, and as I said in reply, I’m pleased with how all four stories depict very different characters and have different structures and narrative voices.

Vidding

Planning three vids; waiting to see which gets started first.

Festivids approaches. I’m pondering requests old and new. The other day, I spur-of-the-moment gathered links to all the Longmire vids I could find on YouTube & the AO3 to confirm there aren’t too many for it to qualify.

Watching

Re: the above, I’ve been going through more of Zahn’s film & TV catalog and taking notes. In the last… week, OMG, I have seen or skimmed:

Fargo: Year Two - surprisingly engaging
Searchers 2.0 - golfing outfit!
Bone Tomahawk - dapper suit and walking stick, but only one scene
The Son - tiresome and cliché-ridden but at least he had a sizeable role

Started Into the West last night, also a skim. Spielberg tries to capitalize on the success of Dances with Wolves with a miniseries in the mid-’90s ETA: 2005, wow, the music and casting definitely feel a decade earlier. (Skeet Ulrich?!) So Zahn McClarnon was my current age when he filmed it.

Movie theater-wise, got together with various friend clusters to see Crazy Rich Asians, which was excellent, and Mission Impossible: Fallout, made by people who’ve mastered the art of the mainstream action film and more enjoyable than any James Bond movie I’ve seen. So many other movies to see; I keep running out of time.

Reading

Has been slow this past little while. Partly because I’ve wanted to do other things and partly because of the books themselves, I think. Right now I’m halfway through Jonny Appleseed by Joshua Whitehead, which is fascinating in its combination of carnality and lyricism.

Thinking

About how, despite what roundup posts like this imply, I can write OR vid OR watch a lot of movies OR plow through a lot of books OR do in-depth media reviews OR go full-tilt at work OR be very social OR do everything I’m supposed to do food- and activity-wise to manage my health condition… but not more than one, maybe two, at a time. Thirty-six years old and I’m finally learning to accept the need for priorities and compromises and moderation instead of fighting against it, and to admit that I am not a machine running at 100 percent efficiency, and to see the rise and fall of different categories over the months as something that keeps life interesting rather than a flaw.

I do recognize the privileges that allow me to have even this much spare time and, more or less, the energy to do something with it. Still, that doesn’t mean I’m not sad about not being able to do all the things, always.